WHASSUP WITH THE COMICS AND MOVIES AND STUFF?

I know, I know, I have no original sources and just rehash the stories and rumors I find whilst surfing the series of tubes, but admit it—I perform a vital service . . . And you love it.

MOVIE NEWS!

GREEN LANTERN. I’ve learned that his costume is entirely CG. That’s a little odd. Also, they released a plot synopsis. The Green Lantern Corps will confront Parallax. Earth’s first ringbearer, Hal Jordan, will have to prove himself to the Corps (obviously, they have nothing but contempt for Earthlings—something that they have in common with . . . most other Earthlings). He’ll save Earth with the help of Carol Ferris (played by Blake Lively).

WOLVERINE IN X-MEN: FIRST CLASS! A taxi driver published on Facebook that he’d taken Hugh “Wolverine” Jackman from the airport toJekyll Island, where Bryan Singeris filming X-Men First Class. Singer denies that Woverine will make a cameo, but clearly this blew what was supposed to be a surprise. How stupid can the studio be to let Jackman cab it from a public airport—they can’t spring for a studio limo escort? Idiots.

PLANNING TO SEE IRON MAN 3? It will be out on May 3, 2013. Hmmm. My throat’s scratchy. Think I’ll be too sick to work that day . . .

BATMAN 3. Thankfully, they’ve backed off the plan for 3D, but it will be filmed in IMAX. Does that mean we have to wear special goggles and/or pay twice the ticket price? Will there be an alternate “regular” print as well? Enquiring minds want to know. Nolan has specifically said there will be no Riddler, which is fine with me (sorry Eminem), but there may be a Catwoman. Personally, I hope they go with The Mad Hatter and Tweedledum and Tweedledee. Kidding, of course.  But I would like to see me some Bane or Killer Croc—you know, a really powerful foe as opposed to another psychotic. They’ve already done two “Batman beats the crazy guy” movies—now it’s time for something bigger. Rumors also abound that Commissioner Gordon will get to bang Charlize Theron. Lucky guy. The movie will be called “The Dark Knight Rises.” Stupid title. I know Batman has no powers, but he’s at least more powerful than yeast.

THE GREEN HORNET SUCKFEST. The film’s release date has now been pushed back (a second resked) to January—when bad films are launched to die quietly. The preview looks godawful. But my 9-year-old thinks the idea of shooting a traffic light is pure brilliance.

T.V. NEWS!

THE WALKING DEAD. You all delivered for the new AMC show, with the highest ratings ever for a show on that network. Still no order for season two, but if next Sunday’s ratings are comparable, I’d say it’s pretty much a guarantee.

YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! The bastards cancelled Caprica. I can’t blame them—it wasn’t doing very well—but I thought it was terrific. It didn’t catch on, perhaps because it was too intellectual (read: no real action sequences).  The last 5 eps will be burned off in 2011.

REST GETS A DEAL. NBC has signed a development deal with actor Milo Ventimiglia (Heroes) to develop the Top Cow comic “Rest” into a TV show. The book is about a guy addicted to a drug that makes it so he doesn’t have to sleep.

COMIC BOOK NEWS

ROB LIEFELD’S ZOMBIE JESUS. Rob “Deadpool” Liefeld’s next comic is ZOMBIE JESUS. But it’s actually a lot better than it sounds.

MARVEL POINT ONE. In February 2011, Marvel is starting up “Marvel: Point One,” designed to bring new readers into long-running books with self-contained stories that will jump new readers into major story arcs. I hope regular readers don’t also have to shell out for them.

MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE. Marvel also has announced another possible universe—not Ultimate, not What-If or alternate. This one will based on Marvel Studio’s movie universe. It will include direct adaptations, but will also tell “side-stories” of events mentioned in a film but not shown. I think I’ll be saving my money and voiding this one like the plague.

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