It’s the Holidays, and around this time of year most of us see relatives we haven’t seen in a long time, buy presents for people near and dear to us and for people we work with, and go to parties with a lot of people we barely know. In all of these instances, the need—real or perceived—to force people to be happy, merry, and kind to us is palpable. We spend more than we can afford, we drink and eat more than is healthy, and we try desperately to make strangers like us. We call it “the Holiday spirit.” But what it really is, is codependent people pleasing. And I think it’s going to our President’s head.
Granted, all nations of the globe interdependent to a great degree, but it is America’s independence that has served has the hallmark for our ability to change the world in positive ways. Now, Obama has put the welfare of one of our dependents, Afghanistan, above our own.
The cure for codependence—which is the belief that I cannot be happy unless I make you happy—is self-care. Find better friends, take a walk, provide the body with nourishment, and allow the other, unhappy person to be unhappy. Anyone who has overcome the struggles of living with an active alcoholic should know instantly what I am talking about: When the alcoholic is allowed to hit his or her personal bottom, by themselves and through indulging their own devastatingly self-destructive behavior, the alcoholic will either find a way up and out, or will die.
Let us now forget why we are in Afghanistan. They allowed an evil presence into their midst, failed to act, and America got hit. We hit back, and toppled their government. All things being equal, of course we should try to leave them with a solid, democratic, and, hopefully, pro-American government. We should help them build infrastructure and get their citizens educated, because terrorism can only thrive in a land of ignorance without opportunity. But all things are not equal.
Our own country is hurting, and much of it shows in ignorance without opportunity. Increasing numbers of Americans on both side of the spectrum, and of a widening socioeconomic class, believe that their government neither represents them nor cares for them. The public education system, despite No Child Left Behind, fails to prepare our children to become productive workers who can expand our economy. And all the tax breaks and bailouts seem to go to the very people who got us here.
The answer is not investment abroad, it is investment at home. And when we are strong again, we will be able to provide the rest of the world with the help it needs. Any lifeguard knows that you can’t save someone who is unwilling to be rescued, and you can’t help a drowning person unless you, too, are a strong swimmer.
