COMIC NEWS: “Why didn’t they just kill them all first, then launch the new 52?”

From the mouths of babes. My kid said to me yesterday, after we read the fantastic Batman #1, “They should have just killed them all and then did the new 52!” I agree. That would have been awesome: Old U, everybody dies. Then reboot. That would have been cool as shit, plus they would have sold a ton more comics because everyone would have bought the last issues and then the new #1s…

…And while we are talking about bad ideas: Did anyone see Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots: The Movie starring Wolverine? No? Well, looks like there’s going to be a “Real Steel 2.” No kidding.

For more news you won’t believe, hit the break.
EVIL DEAD 4. We started with Real Steel, and we’ll continue with the non-comic-book news. The fourth installment of the Evil Dead franchise will not have Ash in it. Or Sam Raimi, from what I gather. Sniff. Sniff.

BATMAN, INC. ONE-SHOT SLATED FOR DECEMBER. Grant Morrison’s killed-by-the-new-52 title will end with a one-shot in December, in which Batman and his worldwide alliance take on Doctor Dedalus, School of Night and the schoolgirl assassins, bat-robots, and Nazi masterminds with Alzheimer’s. All that according to Morrison himself. Cameron Stewart will be on the art (hooray!), and the story will cap off the Inc. series and set the stage for 2012’s Batman: Leviathan. The latter will be Morrison’s final Batwork, and he promises that it will wrap up all six-years of his work with the character. I’m a fan of what Scott Snyder is doing these days, but I can’t imagine how it will fit in with Morrison’s stuff. Or with the new 52. And frankly, I don’t care. Morrison can do whatever he wants and if it don’t fit into new 52, I won’t give a rat’s ass.

TEEN TITANS: GAMES. Perhaps to coordinate with the recent publication of the can’t-rave-about-it-enough New Teen Titans Omnibus, DC is finally releasing “The New Teen Titans : Games,” an original graphic novel written 30 years ago by the best Titans writer ever, Marv Wolfman, and illustrated by the best Titans artist ever, George Perez. It’s the Nightwing version of the team: Starfire, Cyborg, Kid Flash, Wonder Girl, Changeling, Jericho, Raven…All of ‘em…Versus a new villain: The Gamemaster. Obviously, it doesn’t take place in continuity. I can’t wait to get my hands on this thing…

MARVEL’S BRIGHTEST DAY. Marvel is already teasing “Fearless,” which will come after Fear Itself. Like Brightest Day followed Blackest Night. Of course, Blackest Night was a lot better than Fear Itself. And Brightest Day was horrible. The teasers feature a lot of Valkyrie. And Sin. The story is something about those two chicks globetrotting to collect the hammers disposed of after Fear Itselzzzzzzzzzz.

THE NEXT VOLUME OF “CRIMINAL.” It will be titled “Fatale” and will be 12 issues instead of the usual 5 or 6. Brubaker says it will take place both in the 1930s and the present, and will be noir-ish but also will have a “horror” element, which would be new to the Criminal series. If you haven’t been reading Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips’ Criminal books, you’re missing out. I recommend getting them in trade anyway, so don’t worry about the loosies, because they’re best read as long-form comic novels.

AVENGERS: X-SANCTION. The next Cable story will be him vs. The Avengers, and will be created by Jeph Loeb and Ed McGuinness. Which, frankly, could go either way.
PIGS. A new comic—with a Jock cover for issue #1—on the Image brand about a KGB Cuban sleeper cell, in the present day, trying to overthrow the U.S. Government through a series of kidnappings, assassinations and acts of terrorism. The first issue was great. Go indie, and scoop it up!

SUPERHERO DVDS F-ING ROCK. Topping the charts for the first week of September, in both Bu-ray and DVD, was X-Men First Class. Also in the top ten: Hanna, which was kind of a superhero flick and also which was, by the way, an amazing movie. Sales topped $30 million. Sniff. Sniff. I smell a sequel!

7 WARRIORS: THE CHICK 300. BOOM! Studios, in November, will produce a comic set in 6th century Libya and starring seven chicks with swords. Written by Michaël Le Galli and drawn by Francis Manapul.

WOLVERINE. Filming is pushed back again, this time to after star Hugh Jackman films Tobe “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” Hooper’s adaptation of Les Miserables, the musical. Sigh. Can’t they just fire Jackman and move it along? He’s practically too old for the part anyway.

MARK WAID’S DAREDEVIL. Has, with issue #3, finally delivered on its promise to recast Daredevil and make you not miss the old one. Fantastic. Absolutely perfect superhero comics.

SQUIRREL GIRL. Lots of folks credit Dan Slott with this character, seeing as how she really made her bones as part of his too-funny-to-survive Great Lakes Avengers book, but she’s actually a Steve Ditko creation. Anyway, Bendis has been using her quite a bit lately, which may be why she plays a major role in the second Marvel Super Hero Squad video game, “Comic Combat,” coming November 15 to Wii, Xbox and PS3. It’ll use the new uDraw tablet.

THE WALKING DEAD, STARRING OPRAH. AMC confirms a ½ hour post-Walking Dead live wrap up talk show, Talking Dead, hosted by Chris “The Nerdist” Hardwick.

DANIEL ACUNA JOINS THE AVENGERS. Beginning with issue 18, the “regular” Avengers #18 will be drawn by (the amazing and brilliant) Acuña. Thank God. This book has been characterized by the worst John Romita, Jr., art in that man’s otherwise stellar career. The story arc will feature a new team…Of Dark Avengers! Should be a thrill.

THE RAY. After the new 52, DC will launch some miniseries that, frankly, don’t sound all that intriguing Except this one. Reimagining the Freedom Fighter character (previously reimagined by Grant Morrison), The Ray has the power of light. The series will be by the superstar team of Palmiotti and Gray, who say it is in the vein of their Power Girl series. And if you didn’t read that series, you missed out on some truly hilarious writing. And two other things. That only Amanda Conner can draw so well. (I’m talking about boobs, guys.)

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