1. Stephen Colbert is not funny without his writers.

2. John Stewart is funny without his writers, but not very funny.

3. My wife has opinions and feelings, and she can communicate them more effectively if she is permitted to do so in a space of time longer than a commercial break.

4. American Gladiators: Timeless concept. But Hulk Hogan? Not so much. When he “interviews” the contestants, I swear he looks like he’s about to fall asleep he’s so bored. Really. Check out his eyes.

5. If the press is any indication, Americans care more about T.V. than Iraq.

6. Letterman looks awful with a beard.

7. You can be a member of a Union and yet still do things that undermine your Union’s cause, and nobody in the press will call you a hypocrite. I’m looking at you, Conan O’Brien, John Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Jay “I bought them donuts!” Leno.

8. It’s okay to cross a picket line if you’re a Republican. (Or, at least if you’re Mike Huckabee, as long as you claim you didn’t know that there was still a strike, use a secret entrance to the show so none of the strikers will see and nobody gets a picture of you crossing the line, and then as long as you claim the next day that you did know that there was a strike but claim that you thought Leno had the same deal Letterman had).

9. It’s okay for a politician not to know anything about the issue most Americans are most upset about today. (See numbers 5 and 8, above.)

10. Reading is a lot more fun than I remembered it.

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