WHAT IF MARVEL PILLAGED “WHAT IF?” FOR “REAL” STORYLINES?

"What If?" Marvel comics Just about every comic book fan remembers the “What If?” title, hosted by the Watcher, fondly. The stories told fanciful, possible, alternative outcomes to classic Marvel storylines. (But be warned: If you actually go back and re-read your yellowing-newsprint copies, you’ll probably wonder why you saved them in the first place.) I recently uncovered a box of old Volume 1 issues and realized…Many (most?) have actually come true!

Over the course of three volumes, Uatu revealed a little over 200 alternate realities…And many came true. Hit the break for more!

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February 13, 2012. Tags: Comic books, Daredevil, Fantastic 4, Ghost Rider, Hulk, Spider-Man, The Avengers. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

PICTURE OF THE DAY

Fantastic 4

Courtesy of a reader…Loston Wallace.

January 15, 2012. Tags: Fantastic 4, Picture of the day. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

THE TOP 100 COMIC BOOK HEROES OF ALL TIME

IGN published a top 100 comic book heroes that made me crazy, both in its predictability (Hey! Superman and Bats are #s 1 and 2!), overinclusiveness (every single Robin except Damian Wayne (who is the most interesting one by far), as well as Superboy and Supergirl? Really?) and its attempts to be esoteric without providing sufficient justification (Groo makes the list, but they don’t really say what makes him so essential; James Gordon makes the list, but Aunt May and Uncle Ben don’t–nor does Jarvis; and Nova makes the list, but nobody really gives a shit about Nova). Maybe it was the list’s sketchy criteria for placement: “Picked by their cultural impact, character development, social relevance, general cool factor, and importance of storylines, these are the best of the best.

It made me so nuts, I made my own list. Yes, there’s a lot of overlap. But mine is better. Because I said so.

Note: If you’re just looking for a list without supporting arguments, you can jump to the last page of this post. But you can’t tell me I was wrong to put Thor at #33 unless you go and read why. So, read every page and then tell me why I’m full of $#!+.

Enjoy!

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December 5, 2011. Tags: Captain America, Comic books, Daredevil, Ed Brubaker, Fantastic 4, Filthy Muties, Flash, Frank Miller, Garth Freakin Ennis, Grant Morrison Sucks, Green Lantern, Hulk, Iron Man, Punisher, Spider-Man, Superman, The Avengers, The Caped Crusader, Wonder Woman, Zombies. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

HAVE YOU HEARD THE ONE ABOUT WARREN ELLIS WRITING FANTASTIC FOUR?

These days, I’ve got the Fantastic Four on my mind. Why? Because I just started reading Ultimate Fantastic Four (I know, I’m years behind the power curve on it) and because I just ordered the John Byrne Fantastic Four Omnibus Vol. 1. And yet, despite all this transfer of wealth to Marvel comics, I don’t consider myself a Fantastic four fan.

The Fantastic Four book can be divided into a few major, recommendable chapters…And then a bunch of entirely forgettable one.

First, there’s the Lee/Kirby years. The duo launched the book in 1961 as Marvel’s first “team” book, creating the first family of superheroes and introducing an amazing array of characters and ideas who retain relevance today: Galactus, Dr. Doom, the Inhumans, Black Panther, the Kree and Skrull races, Johnny Storm’s friendship with Spider-Man, a headquarters known by name (The Baxter Building), the negative zone…The amount of imagination and visual brilliance in these first 100 issues are staggering. I refer to this chapter as “The Most Readable Chapter.” These are stories that are still great to read today—they hold up, and they’re timeless.

Then, we saw quite a few “name brand” writers and artists march through the series. Roy Thomas, Gerry Conway, John Romita Sr., George Perez, John Buscema, Marv Wolfman, Doug Moench, Bill Sienkiewicz…The quality of these issues never really pops above average. All are pretty much forgettable. I call this period, the 1970s.

In 1981, John Byrne came on board as the writer/artist. And for the first time in over a decade, the FF became relevant. Invisible Girl became a Woman. Thing went from rocky to lumpy, and also quit the team. She Hulk joined the team. Johnny Storm’s girlfriend became the herald of Galactus(!) The book was wild and unpredictable, until, suddenly, it stopped. Byrne dropped the book after some fights with Ed-in-Chief Jim Shooter, and it went straight back into the crapper. Ah, Jim Shooter. The man who also chased away Roger Stern from both Avengers and Amazing Spider-Man, thus ending three of the greatest runs of the 1980s. (Of course, the 1980s were also the best time in Marvel comic history in terms of rich ideas and superhero-based creativity and sales. So it’s not like Jim got it all wrong.)

Maybe “crapper” was too harsh. But the writers who followed (all of whom are well-known: Roger Stern, Tom DeFalco, Steve Englehart, and the return of Roy Thomas) failed to bring anything new to the book. Even with several lineup changes (raise your hand if you remember Sue and Reed being replaced by Johnny and Thing’s girlfriends), the book just kinda…Sucked. Even a reboot (a new #1!) and Chris “I can write anything” Claremont couldn’t save it.

Mark Waid and Mike Wieringo made a go of it in 2002, and people generally liked that run, but I have to say that it just didn’t grab me. If you’re a fan of that run, see if you can remember anything iconic that happened during it. Betcha have to look it up in your longbox. Ditto for the Mark Millar run.

No, the only really good—i.e., above average—run on FF other than Lee/Kirby and Byrne were the 14 issues written by J. Michael Straczynski. And you’re looking at about 400 issues in that pool. Not a great track record.

Even the currently lauded Jonathan Hickman stuff leaves me saying “meh.” I mean, he’s got great ideas and intricate storytelling manner, but at bottom—there’s just not much there. I still don’t care about the Fantastic Four after reading it. Craft over content, I say. This approach worked a lot better in Secret Warriors, which was all about espionage and had a huge cast of characters; Fantastic Four is at its best when it’s intimate. When it’s about family members.

Which brings me to the title of this post. At BaltiCon I found the first four volumes of UF4 for five bucks each, and noticed—for the first time—that the writers and artists were stellar: Brian Michael Bendis, Mark Millar, Adam Kubert, Stuart Immonen and…Warren Ellis. You may recall that Immonen and Ellis were also the genius—GENIUS—team behind Nextwave, one of the greatest books of all time. Ellis wrote only two arcs for UF4—the second and third ones—but they are laugh-out-loud funny. The first book, the origin, is Bendis and it’s okay, but unnecessary. But the Warren Ellis stuff is reminiscent of his Nextwave work: It’s all about relationships, teasing, character development…And the art is nothing short of amazing. I never think of Andy Kubert when I think about my favorite artists, but every time I see his work I’m blown away. Ben Grimm has never been more loveable, Johnny has never been funnier, Reed has never been more of a geek…And Sue has never been sexier (or stronger, as an individual). In short, this is what the “fun” in funnybooks is supposed to stand for. I’m loving these books. I haven’t cracked the Mark Millar stuff yet, but I will. In the meantime, I advise you to run—RUN—to Amazon, where you can find Ellis’ volumes 2 and 3 for like two bucks each. Get them. They’re hilarious.

September 14, 2011. Tags: Comic books, Fantastic 4, John Byrne, Warren Ellis. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

THE JUNE IN COMIC BOOK TRADES

What to buy, what not to buy from the past month.

WHAT TO BUY: THE TOP 5 TRADES OF JUNE 2011

These get a 100 percent solid recommendation from this city corner of the interwebs:

Honorable mention: X-Men: Second Coming. This gets a mention because it’s a lot of fun. The tale of Hope coming to the present from the future, to save all mutants. It sounds stupid, I know, but this is where the X-Men work best: In a straight-shot storyline where there’s lots of doom and gloom and lasers and all kinds of battling. It’s basically a long-form brawl, and if you’ve not kept up with the mutant line, you can easily jump in here.

5. Baltimore Volume 1: The Plague Ships. Mike Mignola and Christopher Golden introduced Lord Henry Baltimore back in 2007, but now he’s got his own series. One of the best-selling indie books of the year (#1 sold out, even though it was also offered for free comic book day). After Lord Baltimore unwittingly releases a horde of vampires, he goes searching to destroy their leader. Gothic steampunk horror.

4. Marvel Universe vs. The Punisher. A miniseries that could have gone horribly wrong goes wonderfully right. Hilarious, action-packed, and featuring some of the best Deadpool stuff I’ve ever read. Written by Jonathan Mayberry and illustrated by Goran “PunisherMAX” Parlov. Chris borrowed my copy of the hardcover, and still hasn’t read it. Shame on him. Go on, everyone shame him. Oh, and also on sale this week (6/29) is the sequel: Marvel Universe vs. Wolverine. Mmmmm. Good stuff.

3. Uncanny X-Force: Deathlok Nation (hardcover). You can wait for the paperback, if you like, but don’t sleep on this, the best X-book around. When Jason Aaron tried to bring Deathlok back in the pages of Wolverine, it sucked. This doesn’t. Plus, it builds on threads extending to the first appearances of Fantomex (in Grant Morrison’s New X-Men, which is mentioned all over this post!) Featuring Deathlok versions of Captain America, Spider-Man, Elektra, Cyclops, Venom . . . A whole buncha cool stuff. Plus, they throw in a reprint of Deathlok’s first appearance in Astonishing Tales #25 (1974).

2. Sweet Tooth Vol. 3: Animal Armies. If you aren’t reading this book, you’re missing one of the best Vertigo books of all time. Truly. It’s spooky, odd, quirky, and touching. And Chris, if you still haven’t read the trades I loaned you: Shame on you!

1. Batwoman: Elegy. Possibly the most visually arresting comic book produced by one of the big two in the past 10 years. The story can be a little confusing, but it’s well worth paying attention to. I had to post some of the interior art here–just to let you see the kind of innovative design you’re missing.

THE TOP 5 REISSUES OF JUNE 2011

In addition to some trades of recently created comic books, check out these blasts from the past:

5. The Boys Definitive Edition Vol. 3. Yes, these issues have already appeared in trade paperbacks, and yes $75 is a lot of money. But this is oversized and hardbound. Darick Robertson’s art is worth it, don’t you think?

4. The Impossible Man. Everyone’s favorite imp, in every appearance drawn by Jack Kirby. It includes his first appearance in Fantastic 4 #11 (written by Stan the Man), his best appearance in FF #176, my favorite issue of Spider Woman (#45, from 1978), and the best X-Men Annual ever (#7). Among other things. Yes, the late 1970s through the mid 1980s were a fantastic time to be reading comics.

3. New X-Men by Grant Morrison Book 2. The only flaw in this is that it’s “digest sized”—slightly smaller than the average comic book. But I’ve always said that Morrison’s New X-Men run was about the words, not the pictures. (Although the issues drawn by Frank Quietly are pretty good, they’re not his best—and I’m not a big Ethan Van Sciver fan.)

2. Daredevil: Yellow. From the days when the name Jeph Loeb meant something, with art by one of the best: Tim Sale.

1. Creepy Comics Vol. 1. Reprinting the first four issues of Dark Horse’s reboot of the pre-code horror title, and featuring the work of folks like Doug Moench, Bernie Wrightson, Angelo Torres, Mike Woods, and Jason Shawn Alexander, among many others. I saw this at my local shop (Victory Comics in Falls Church—holla!) and almost bought it immediately. But then I remembered I needed to have money for dinner that night. Maybe next time.

ONE I WANNA BUY, BUT DON’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT:

Osborn: Evil Incarcerated. The story of Norman’s life in prison. I don’t know much about it, but I love the writer (Kelly Sue DeConnick, who wrote the under-read and under-rated Sif miniseries) and the artist (Emma Rios, who is freaking amazing).

THREE NOT TO BUY

Spider-Man: The Original Clone Saga. The only Spidey story so bad they had to re-make it. Seriously, this is terrible. Don’t even be curious.

Daredevil: Reborn. Because Shadowland wasn’t enough to convince Marvel to kick Andy Diggle off of this title.

Uncanny X-Men: Quarantine. Okay, this actually isn’t a horrible book, but what makes me crazy is that Marvel thinks I have amnesia. Am I supposed to completely ignore the fact that Grant Morrison did a virtually identical storyline in New X-Men? Wait. How could I forget that, when Marvel is reprinting New X-Men this very month (see above)!!! And most importantly, how could Cyclops forget it?!?

June 30, 2011. Tags: Comic books, Comics review, Daredevil, Fantastic 4, Filthy Muties, Grant Morrison Sucks, Punisher, Spider-Man, The Caped Crusader. Uncategorized. 1 comment.