wonder twins
You’ve read about the best, now here’s the rest…

10. Frankie Raye

This first one is is a bit of a reach, but stay with me. Frankie was Johnny Storm’s girlfriend, and then became Galactus’ sidekick (okay, he calls them “Heralds”) because she was jealous of all of Human Torch’s adventures.  Yeah, I wanna be cool and fiery too so I’ll help sacrifice entire planets to this horrible God.

Probably John Byrne’s biggest mis-step in an otherwise perfect run on Fantastic Four.

9. Snapper Carr

Snapper was introduced as a “hip teen” to try to make the Justice League of America more relatable.

It didn’t work.  He was just annoying. And he snapped his fingers a lot.

8. Etta Candy

Maybe she wasn’t really a sidekick because she didn’t stick around too long or do much of anything. But she was a fat chick who loved candy and hung around with Wonder Woman.

7. The Wonder Twins and Gleek

Superfriends was an awesome TV show, but Zan and Jana? No. All they did was turn into birds and puddles and follow around the guys you really wanted to see.

ebony white the spirit eisner6. Ebony White

The completely racist caricature sidekick to The Spirit. I shouldn’t need to explain my reasoning here. There are lots of examples of racist sidekick characters, but this one makes my list because he was created by Will Eisner, who was in so many other ways ahead of his time.

5. Aqualad and Aquagirl.

Aqualad was stupid character based on a stupid superhero. A sidekick initially rejected by Marv Wolfman in his classic New Teen Titans comic, which was all about sidekicks. Seriously, Aqualad—-from his name to his costume—was just the most worthless sidekick ever.

And the girl version just seemed desparate.

4. Rick Jones

I’ve never liked Rick Jones. First of all, he’s a jerk, driving his motorcycle out on government property during a gamma bomb experiment. Total dick move. But more than that, he’s a professional sidekick, serving Hulk, becoming Bucky for a while, traveling with ROM the Spaceknight and two Captain Marvels….He’s just annoying. The only time I liked him was when he became a washed up, alcoholic rock star singing about his days accompanying superheroes. That was kinda interesting.

3. Roy Harper

“Speedy” never really made sense to me. He was the kid version of Green Arrow, but the only time he did anything interesting with his mentor was when he got hooked on heroin. (It should have been speed, of course.) Harper became a decent solo character, but he was a terrible sidekick. And even in his solo stories he never really did anything Green Arrow couldn’t do.

2. Kid Devil

Okay, I admit that Blue Devil was never the greatest character, but when his book came out in 1984 I enjoyed it. For the time, it wasn’t terrible. But even as a young lad who read just about every comic Marvel and DC published, I could tell this was a bad idea. Geoff Johns tried to rehabilitate the character decades later by putting him in the Teen Titans and it kinda worked—but not really.

1. Alpha

I love Dan Slott. I love everything he’s done with Spider-Man. Except this. God, was Alpha awful. Marvel tried to push him out and make him a major character, giving him solo stories and all, but the fans said no fucking way.

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