COMIC BOOKS ARE MY REASON FOR LIVING—I LOVE ‘EM MORE THAN MY KIDS

The above-the-cut news has to be that THE D.C. CRISES ON INFINITE EARTH FINALS NEVER HAPPENED!  Kinda.

DC Comics publisher Dan Didio Facebooked on Tweeter or Tweeted on Facebook or something that “there have been no Crisis events in the New DCU.”  Some fanboys are all pissed off because, like, those were such big events, and, hey, they’re still on my shelf so they must have happened!  Me, I say: The Crises pretty much all sucked, so good riddance.  My only question: Batman is supposed to have his whole Grant Morrison history intact, and he died during a Crisis, so…Riddle me that, Danny boy.  Then he clarified later that there “have been ‘crisis’ in our characters lives, but they aren’t exactly the Crisis you read before.”  Which basically means we can expect DC’s next summer event to be a new Crisis.  Sigh.  So much for the new 52.  Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Hit the cut.
"big tits"
MARK MILLAR MOVIES WILL FILL THE SUMMER!  Starting with Wanted 2.  The movie wasn’t anything like (or anywhere near as cool as) the comic (by Mark Millar and J.G. Jones), but the movie was pretty damn fun—at least I thought so.  And now there’s going to be a confirmed sequel.  And while he’s at it, Millar has hinted at several other movie projects based on his comic book properties.  Millar isn’t as good a writer as he used to be, but he’s responsible for some of the most influential comics of the past 10 years—so I’m happy to see him succeeding.  In other Millar news, he’s finally publishing issue #5 of Superior (a Shazam-like story of a boy with multiple sclerosis who becomes Superman), just in time for Matthew Vaughn (Kick-Ass, X-Men: First Class) to buy the rights.  Yes, this is the same Matthew Vaughn who proclaimed the superhero movie “dead” just before this last summer.  And just because Millar can do no wrong, he’s also sold the rights to Nemesis (one of his weaker comics, in my view—great premise, terrible execution) to Tony Scott, and his not-yet-released-superhero-heist comic, Supercrooks, will be directed by Nacho Vigalondo.
justice league
FEAR ITSELF #6.  …..Aaaaaaaand the series finally gets its groove on.  Great issue. This “Captain America using guns” issue is an example of how the movies can make Marvel better—Cap’s a soldier.  Why on Earth wouldn’t he use guns?!  He’s not Batman, for goodness sake.  If the enemy is worth killing, it’s worth killing right.  So I had no problem with that.  I could have done without the cursing (Cap says “bitch” and Thor says “ass”), but what the Hell, right?
JUSTICE LEAGUE: DOOM.  I’ve been pretty happy with DC’s animated DVDs.  The Green Lantern one was much better than the movie, and the All Star Superman DVD was fantastic.  The latest announced project will be a JLA feature with several of the voice actors from DC’s wonderful “Justice League Unlimited” series.  It will be based on Mark Waid’s “Tower of Babel” story arc, which features the villainy of Ra’s Al Ghul—he gets his hands on Batman’s secret plans to destroy each individual JLA member (should they ever turn bad), and sets about implementing said plans.  Hilarity ensues.  We’re looking at a 2012 release date.
WOLVERINE’S X-MEN TEAM.  It’ll be Nightcrawler (or some kind of thing (or things) that look like Kurt), Beast, Kitty Pryde, Kid Omega, Iceman and Oya, with Lockheed and some guys I don’t recognize.  The art will be by Chris Bachalo, whose Spider-Man work I loved but who, in my opinion, isn’t really right for X-Men.  Too whimsical.  Anyway, the first arc, by Jason Aaron, will feature the new Hellfire Club.  And Logan will be the headmaster of another new school: The Jean GreySchool for Higher Learning.”  None of this sounds remotely interesting.
THOR 2.  Marvel Studios is courting Patty Jenkins (director of the ugly-Charlize-Theron vehicle, “Monster”) for the sequel.Marvel comics
SUPER HERO SQUAD.  Marvel’s “kids” cartoon that’s actually much cooler for grown ups will return at 7am(!) on Cartoon Network, on October 3.  Like prior seasons, there’ll be some fringe-like characters—they released stills of the Man Thing and Werewolf by Night.  Very cool.
THE DARK KNIGHT RISES…AND SO DOES SCARECROW.  Cillian Murphy has been seen on set for Christopher Nolan’s final Batman movie.
NOW THAT’S A ROCK ‘EM SOCK ‘EM ROBOT MOVIE.  I’ll sit out on Real Steel and wait for Pacific Rim, currently filming under the direction of Guillermo del Toro.  It’s a futuristic movie about remote controlled robots fighting sea monsters starring Idris “Thor” Elba, Charlie “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” Day, Diego “Homeland” KlattenhoffI, Willem “Spider-Man” Defoe, and many others. Yeah, it sounds cool.  But I’d still rather see Hellboy 3.
BATMAN INCORPORATED: LEVIATHAN STRIKES.  The last Grant Morrison Batman series (coming in 2012), is half-way completed, and Morrison has revealed the plot: Batman is locked into a “mind control facility” that was used during the Cold War.  I can’t wait.
THE WALKING WEBISODES.  Don’t miss The Walking Dead webisodes.  They’re free, they’re cool, and they may hold you over just long enough for the season premier on the 16th.
AREA 52.  Another comic book movie is on the way!  Summit Entertainment bought this Image funnybook about aliens in Antarctica.  It’s not like The Thing, though.  Summit is the company behind R.E.D. and Twilight.
THE FOUNDATION OF 2012.  That’s how Marvel is teasing its new round of point-ones, which will introduce a Defenders team by Matt Fraction and Terry Dodson that will include Namor, She Rulk, Nick Fury, an Ant-Man, Icemand and Iron Fist.  The Point One one-shot is set 11/2/11, and will include all original pages in a 64-pager by talents like Bendis, Larroca, McGuinness, Loeb, Brubaker, Van Lente, Yost, Lapham, Hitch…It’s a Marvel who’s who.
GEORGE PEREZ ALREADY LEAVING SUPERMAN.  Keith Giffen and Dan Jurgens are taking over after the first arc, with issue #6.  This is more of the “front-loading power talent” and “back-loading lesser-known talent” that I’m sure we can expect once the new 52 become the old 52.  Which happens around issue 5 or 6.
GREEN LANTERN: THE ANIMATED SERIES. It’s premiering at NYC Comic-con on 10/15.   Soon to follow, it’ll be on Cartoon Network.
OTHER D.C. CARTOONS.  In other DC ‘toon news, a CGI series titled “Beware the Batman” is coming in 2013.  That’s an awfully long way out to be announcing this show…But Cartoon Network is turning into a DC animated fountain, with some very good stuff like Young Justice and Batman: Brave and the Bold.  It sounds like BTB will be a little offbeat—it’s going to include Katana of The Outsiders (who was a samurai in comics long before The Walking Dead’s Micchone), and will include bad guys like Grant Morrison’s Professor Pyg.  Probably not for the kiddies.  Also coming to Cartoon Network in the next year: Aardman Animation-produced Batman claymation shorts.  I can’t wait for that.  Seriously.  It’ll be part of the “DC Nation” hour on Cartoon Network, which will also feature shorts of Plastic Man and others and a new kids cartoon called “Super Best Friends Forever” starring Batgirl, Supergirl and Wonder Girl.  It’s created by the creator of “My Little Pony.”  I’m cool with trying to get girls into comic books, but part of me wishes that the show starred Catwoman and Starfire from the new DC 52….A couple sex-starved hotties on the prowl.  Mmmm…Cartoon sex….
UPCOMING MARVEL MOVIES.  A recent issue of Entertainment Weekly quoted Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige saying that they’re working on the Ant-Man film by Edgar Wright, as well as the previously rumored Guardians of the Galaxy movie.  The real news?  An Inhumans movie.  Really?!?  How about making sure that Iron Man 3 doesn’t suck as hard as number 2 did?  That would be nice.
LI’L DEPRESSED BOY YEAR ONE.  Anyone out there reading this terrific little comic by Steven Struble?  It started as a web comic, and those pieces will be collected in a trade volume to be released this December.  Published by Image Comics.
SNARKED.  It’s the name of the new book by Roger “Thor: The Mighty Avenger” Langridge based on the work of Lewis Carroll.  Yeah, the guy who wrote Alice in Wonderland.  I’m more than a bit curious….

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